ok new rule: if you’re gonna call me “cute” you have to specify whether you mean “cute like a little girl/baby animal” or “cute enough to bang mercilessly”
i love when dogs sigh. its like, hey bud, long day at the office?
one time i forced my mom to play pokemon for at least half an hour and all she did was catch a butterfree and name it lowfat
me: sorry I’m late i had to pet some cats on the way here
i want dogs to be allowed at more places and i want children under 6 to not be